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Live like a King & Queen

"The easiest way for a man to be a King is to treat his lady like a Queen."

After meeting with hundreds of couples it is clear to us  that most men and women want to be the king and queen of their castle. For some this is more of a power struggle, for others it is a battle to see who will be treated like royalty the most. It is an innate longing in all of us to have power and control and to feel like we matter to someone. The process of acting like a king and queen and being treated like a king and queen seems to have the potential to answer both of those longings. Part of "making purple" in a marriage is honoring and respecting each other's leadership and authority. That means not just one person is in charge and decisions are made as a team. This can be very difficult for most men and women since we are so very different and approach many decisions from very different perspectives. If there is a commitment to validate each other's strengths and leadership, the resulting decision will be the best of both of you.

If you approach the relationship demanding to be treated like a king or queen, most likely things will go south very quickly. If both the king and queen commit to serving and honoring each other equally both of you will feel like royalty. We like to say that the best contest in marriage is to see who can out give and serve the other, because in the end both will be winners. So if you want to be treated like a king or queen, it is best to start treating your spouse as such. And if your spouse does not happen to be cluing in, it is okay to ask them to start treating you like a king or queen. If you both commit to leading like a king and queen and strive to treat each other like a king and queen magical things are sure to happen in your relationship.


  • Pick a day to have a serving/honoring contest
  • Take some time to affirm each other's leadership strengths
  • Practice making a "purple" decision together
  • Make a list for each other of things the other could do that would make you feel like royalty
"God, give us the wisdom and willingness to live as equals and treat each other as king and queen as we deserve. Give us a servant's heart as we serve one another with love and humility."

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