Press On

"Classic fairytales do not deny the existence of heartache and sorrow, but they do deny universal defeat."
     —Greenhaven Press

In every fairytale, there is a quest greater than the love or romancing of the leading lady or leading man.  They have to do something so overwhelmingly difficult, like: overthrow an evil curse, out-wit an evil yet brilliant witch, locate unknown treasures or pass through enchanted forests to accomplish their quest and experience true love.  So eerily similar are our marriages.  What is the quest that is greater than the union of you and your partner?  What excites and ignites both of you to press on despite all odds and to risk?  When you identify that, this is what you were designed for as a couple.  What if the hero or heroine in the fairytale quit because “the forest is too creepy”, or “the tower is too tall to climb”, or “the witch is unbelievably frightening”?  What kind of story would that be?  We can confidently say, “One not worth telling or living”.  The quest brings a greater passion and determination to continue despite all odds, difficulties, or tragedies one might encounter in their fairytale.

TIPS FOR PRESSING ON IN A RELATIONSHIP:

• Try telling a story to your children, partner etc… where the hero quits and claims defeat before the prize is won or true love experienced.  What’s the reaction?
• When you tell your story to others or your children, how do you want it to read? To end? And if you do not have one, establish your quest as a couple, then live it, defying all odds.
• Positive Psychology experts say keeping a grateful journal reminds you of what’s working and to press on towards accomplishing your goals and vision in life.
• Criticism and contempt are two of the fastest ways to kill a relationship.  Complimenting, using soft start-ups, like “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me when you…..” will go a long way in building determination with your partner to continue with you in a relationship.
• With your partner, celebrate what you have overcome in your relationship. This makes for a great fairytale!